as virtuous men pass mildly away

lately i've been thinking on what if today's my last one. what would i feel if i were on my deathbed, and knew my "todays" were now "yesterdays", that my plans and what if's and dream-bigs were going to have to be saved for eternity, not my brief stint here on this little earth. i think a lot of things would evaporate--like the importance of being on time, like 40% off at Gap, like whether or not (fill in the blank) would ever come around and love me, like how much of me i pour into my studies and scholarly plans, like comparing and competing and running and running and running to try to measure up, to try to be good enough.

and all that would be left is who i have become

and the quiet hope that that would somehow be good enough.

i'd think about my family,

about if they know

that there is no other group of people i want to be with more,

anytime.