Thursday, February 26, 2009

new words.good words.true words

-dallas clayton

I am not yours to run over.
I am not yours to make cry.
I am yours to be kind to.
To share with.
To feed candies inside
when the right seasons come.

I am not built for the other mess.
None of us are where I live.
It is not how we thrive
that name calling and poking at.

Those are for someone else
on some other day
that might have already happened
and you are still holding on to
in your sweatshirt pocket.

Those balled-up yelling type thoughts
need not be hurled upon me
upon us
in hopes of stirring up some reaction
where someone’s possessions get stacked in the yard.

I am not built for that reaction.
We are not built for that reaction.
We are built to give to you
beauty and help
to take from you
sadness and uncertainty
to leave you well
and ready.

And to protect you
from the others
when time to time
they act like you’re
just now
when you said what you said
and didn’t mean it.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

best thing of this week

and tonight i almost died.

that's right.

the kind of died where you are in the middle of the intersection and the light is green but not for you and cars are coming everywhichway and horns are honking and your brief life flashes before your widewide eyes.

we were on our way back from d.i. and he asked me some question and must have been either really enthralled in my answer or just unaware of the speed with which he was losing his yelo light. either way, there we found ourselves. smack.dab. in the middle of the intersection. reds both ways, then green one way--the wrong way--and us just holding on for dear life!

lucky we made it. lucky, because there were gushers and animal crackers and blanket forts awaiting our arrival, safe and sound, at home.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

lenguas de amor

and here I am!

The Five Love Languages

My Results:
Quality Time: 11
Physical Touch: 8
Words of Affirmation: 6
Acts of Service: 4
Receiving Gifts: 1

Take the Quiz!

Monday, February 16, 2009

she's only happy in the sun.

we got feeling down.  
we got needing up.
we went on a walk.
lucky there was sun. 

we met a new friend.
his name is newton.

he doesn't talk much.
we're okay with that.

we found a happy birthday mobile.
it is brown.
my feet hurt from not being in slippers for tanmuchos dias.
we found a house that looks like pea soup.
funny, no?  a house that looks like pea soup!

then we ate chips&salsa.
our plan is to stave off the day of reckoning (aka: writing lesson plans & grading papers)

with chips and salsa.

update on the skinny jeans:

they still stink.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

levels of love

SUBTITLED: "the greatest courage is growing up and becoming who you really are." (e.e. cummings)

today with my class we were talking bout all the different ways you can love someone. infatuation, adoration, worshipping, and so forth.

tangent: i [love] this university. i was on campus tonight for a grand induction (wootwoot) and i realized how long it has been since i've been on campus. last semester, i thought i'd be up in the library every night, preparing lesson plans, mostly as an excuse to be back in that library that i love so much. why have i not gone back? i think it's because some part of me doesn't want to face it. subconsciously i think that if i avoid it for long enough, i won't really have to say goodbye. like relations with old, old friends. it's hard to see them because you realize how much you miss them in your life. how completely un-ready you were to be parted. hard things to face. i don't know that i will ever really come to terms with having to hand over this chapter of my life.  

some of you may be laughing. perhaps it is rather gross this adoration|adulation of mine.  or maybe it serves a purpose.  only time will tell.

also. i have a new theory. a developing theory, rather. it is the theory of imagination. i believe imagination creates reality, in direct proportion to just how detailed the imagination is. in other words, our capacity to imagine has the power to bring about realities. from steve dahlberg's blog, "Protecting imagination is even more important in realms beyond entertainment. Progress in arenas from social reform to technological invention would be crippled if people lost their ability to imagine a better world. Tolerance and empathy depend upon the human capacity to imagine all the implications of the Golden Rule."

in practice:  two night ago i imagined a certain someone into calling me.  tonight, paige and i imagined another certain someone coming over to our apartment so vividly, that as the him in our imagination was knocking on our door, there came a real knock on our door.  in the very instant.  it wasn't the him we'd imagined, but i still give our creative energy credit.  then, we ran into the real him a few minutes afterwards.  after a short convo with said boy, it turns out that he had gone through almost the exact same process on the way to the party that we'd imagined, just minutes before.  he was typing in his room, he left for the party, he forgot his shoes halfway down the stairs and had to go back from them, etc., etc.  (or ect ect as my students say)  power of imagination?  coincidence?  i don't know...we're still experimenting.

which leads me to another dissertation for the evening.  perhaps i should have titled this blog the rants and raves of a curious girl.  anyways, was talking with teachfriend today: lovely conversation about how great the highschoolies are at hyperbole.  everything is exaggerated in their minds.  i think this should connect to my life in a bigger way than i see right now.  so there it is, written down to reconnect to at some later date.