Tuesday, May 17, 2016

how my 1990s childhood conditioned me for a 21st century life

Tamagotchis: the world's first iPhone.

Saturday, April 30, 2016

earth day + national parks week

Another Earth Day come and gone and I didn't even plant seeds. It comes upon me every year like a tsunami and I freeze and gasp and say, "It's Earth Day?!"

And it was also Get Into A National Park For Free week. I did not profit from this, but as I was in Zion's just the week before, I feel okay about it. 

I spend a lot of time thinking about plants though. This year I've killed all the ones I've owned. Four strawberry plants, two basil plants, a lemon tree... The hanging plant in my room is miraculously still alive, but that's probably because it was a gift from my brother and every that his hands touch lives. 

The thing I like about plants is they are so unconcerned with haste. They just grow at their own speed and there is nothing you can do to change that. And their growth is so quotidian to us humans who live in a world of grass and trees and bushes but when you have a plant that you love and trying to grow, it's amazing what a miracle the whole growth process becomes, and how willing you are to be patient and kind and tender with it. How forgiving you are of its slow humble little pace, how excited you are for any new green shoots, and how any kind of fruit or blossom is a complete wonder.

Anyways, here are some pictures of a weekend away in a secret canyon that heals souls, and a couple of songs that go well with nature.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

the kind of man

Something weird happened to me last weekend. A lil switch in my brain flipped and all the carefully tuned filters by which I've been searching for Mister dissolved and I'm left with a pretty simple thing:

All I want in life is somebody who falls in love with the world every time he opens his eyes. All I want is someone I can love everything about life with. Someone who is captivated by joy and wants to live in that place constantly. Someone I can just go around loving people with. I want a marriage where we laugh and say dumb things and get so so much joy out of every moment. Especially the really hard moments.

I just want someone with a twinkle in his eyes and the milk of human kindness in his heart.

(and if he wanted to move to Scotland and raise sheep together, well I wouldn't be mad.)

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Handful of recommendations...

1. This instagram account, which I am shamelessly promoting because this store has beautiful things and meaningful art and people need to know! _Sneaky smile_

2. This article that reminds me why I got into photography in the first place. 

3. "Christmas Day" by Johnnyswim! Sorry it isn't even Thanksgiving yet... But not sorry at all.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015


So I went to yoga today for the first time in probably three years. Went straight for the advanced class, which means I spent an hour and a half making a fool of myself. My muscles may be wimpy, but no one can say I don't have moxie.

Yogi man said something worth sending out, though. He said, "Move through this pose slowly. When you find a weak place, stay there for a while. Try to make it stronger. Too often we turn to momentum to get us over weak spots. But if instead you go slowly and master all the weak spots, you'll get to know yourself quite well as you move. And when you get to the final pose, it will be real and earned, and not just momentum."

I think about relationships, of the friend kind and of the love kind, and how often I'm flung into them by all that moxie and momentum. Easy to propel myself right over the surface of weak spots in myself and weak spots in a relationship, just trying to hit the end-pose. Better maybe to stay in that uncomfortable shaky-muscle place for a minute longer, trying to make a weak spot become a little bit stronger.

Practice, and all is coming.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

the kind of woman

I'd like to be the kind of woman who takes injury, insult, and hurt, absorbs it, heals it, and turns it back out on the world as kindness and love.

I'd like to be the kind of woman who decides to move to Maine and plants a blueberry farm--a woman with a blueberry farm and a bed and breakfast, or perhaps a tiny chocolate shop in southern France. A woman who tends sheep in Ireland. By a lake. I want to be brave enough to choose that kind of purposeful, centered life for myself. The kind of woman that maybe other people call "gutsy" but that down in her heart knows is just peace-seeking.

I'd like to be the kind of woman who forgives, and who never says anything out of turn.

I'd especially like to be the kind with smile lines, the kind who says only kind things.

I'd like to be the kind of woman that secretly knows all sorts of crazy stuff, like how to speak languages and how to make sfogliatelle and how to play Auld Lang Syne on the piano at New Years.

I'd like to be the one with a husband who I hold hands with and send secret smiles to.

I'd like to be the kind of woman with light and love and the honey of human kindness in her words, instead of venom, revenge, judgment, and self-pity. I'd like to be the kind of woman who is trying to heal others, not trying to ruin.

(originally written the first of October 2012)

Monday, November 9, 2015

November and life looks like

Well, it finally happened. I mean I knew the grapes tasted funny when I started eating them, but I hadn't thought that the lavender chemicals from the Mr Clean Car Wash potpourri sachet would actually permeate the grape skins. In any event, the Poison Control lady was very kind.

My coworker brought a box out to me and said, "Don't scream, don't scream." He then announced that our Norwegian nativity had come and it had been sitting behind us waiting to be opened all morning. I ran into the office and whisper-screamed.

I mean, that nativity is all I've talked about for the last month after all.

Saturday found me at the Home Depot. Well, me and all the rest of the town. I bought a lemon tree. A lemon tree and a strand of promises from the Garden Expert Lady that it would blossom and produce fruit all year round, so long as I was sufficiently tricking it into thinking it was living in a subtropical climate. If there's one thing I know how to do, it's tricking plants into thinking they're living in a subtropical climate.

I also spray painted a small shelf and hung it on my wall. Three cheers!

To say nothing of JRR Tolkien's Christmas Letters to his children arriving in a parcel tonight at my house. Come to think of it, it has been a day of magic, hasn't it.