Wednesday, March 30, 2011

lovely little irish stories

this summer i am going to

the mystic land of leprechauns and luck, of singing songs across the glen, of names like limerick, killarney, and tipperary, and best of all, of heartbreaking ballads of love and the sea.

i am completely enchanted by any song that smacks of irish sentiments of home and hearth and return. i wonder if the reason i like josh ritter's "kathleen" is because it might have lineage through the irish "i'll take you home again kathleen", and if fisher's "i will love you" is so poignant because it draws on the ballad, "till the stars fall from the sky." for many of the same reasons, mumford&sons is my latest irish-esque fix. the preface to them being glen hansard's "falling slowly." before that it was coldplay's "swallowed in the sea," and before that it was billy joel's "and so it goes." all of these songs that sink deep, even from the first listen, ...they are irish in heart. and perhaps somewhere way way back, before i can remember "first listens", back before my brain told me there was a separation between the music i heard and the emotions i felt, there's danny boy (you will not be disappointed by clicking on this link). the last verse are some of the most homesick and lovely words e'er.

And if you come, when all the flowers are dying
And I am dead, as dead I well may be
You'll come and find the place where I am lying
And kneel and say an "Ave" there for me.

And I shall hear, tho' soft you tread above me
And all my dreams will warmer, sweeter be
For you will bend, and tell me that you love me
And I will sleep in peace until you come to me.

others i love are "the wild mountain thyme":

I will build my love a bower
By yon pure and crystal fountain
Yes and on it I will lay
All the flowers of the mountain
Will you go? Lassie, go?

And we'll go together
To pick wild mountain thyme
All among the bloomin' heather
Will you go? Lassie, go?

and the water is wide (aka: o waly waly).

The water is wide, I cannot get oer
Neither have I wings to fly
Give me a boat that can carry two
And both shall row, my love and I.

(i'll save "loch lomond" and "my bonny lies over the ocean" [which i think has been abused by most people's singing of it] for a post on scottish folk songs.)

and finally, perhaps the most moving of them all, marta keen's "homeward bound."

In the quiet misty morning, when the moon has gone to bed,
When the sparrows stop their singing and the sky is clear and red,
When the summer's ceased its gleaming, when the corn is past its prime,
When adventure's lost its meaning, I'll be homeward bound in time.

Bind me not to the pasture. Chain me not to the plow.
Set me free to find my calling and I'll return to you somehow.

If you find it's me you're missing, if you're hoping I'll return,
To your thought I'll soon be list'ning; in the road I'll stop and turn.
Then the wind will set me racing as my journey nears its end,
And the path I'll be retracing when I'm homeward bound again.

Bind me not to the pasture. Chain me not to the plow.
Set me free to find my calling and I'll return to you somehow.

In the quiet misty morning when the moon has gone to bed,
When the sparrows stop their singing, I'll be homeward bound again.

to add to these, tonight i found "lille." it's by lisa hannigan, born in kilcloon ireland, and i think it (her voice, the sentiments, the video, the words, the story) is magical.

...and you belong with me, not swallowed in the sea.

Saturday, March 26, 2011

get a chinese and watch tv

was anyone else completely thrown by the snow storm yesterday? after that, all i wanted to do was go home, order chinese, put on my lumberjack hat, and watch tv.

so we did.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

patients of patience

awesome moment of the night:

meredith makes brownies. she pulls them out of the oven. they are too gooey. rebecca recommends she puts them back in. meredith says, "no, i can't wait that long."

i say, "meredith, i have a video for you." i pull up this video:

we have to watch it in snippets because the internet loads slowly.

i get annoyed.

i close the window and say, "that's it. i'm tired of waiting for it to load."


friends or...friendlier?

last night i found myself unexpectedly explaining the stories that explain me to someone i've only known a little while. in the moment, i thought nothing of it for how natural it felt. only when i went home did i realize how completely rare that is for me: seldom do i really tell stories about how i got to be who i am to people i've known for a long time, let alone to people i've known for so little. makes you far too vulnerable. i went to bed utterly happy for a friend so genuine that this girl eager to listen, reluctant to share, could feel so at ease,

and then today i cried on the phone with another of my friends. a best one, this. people never guess we're best friends, i suppose because at first glance we're quite opposite.

i have brown hair | she has blonde.
she has a high, feminine voice | mine has moments of husky, especially in the mornings.
she's the best conversationalist i've ever known | i struggle to say anything sometimes.
she likes all things pink | i don't.
her hair is always, as we say, perfectly coiffed | sometimes i go a whole week only braiding my hair (sorry for those weeks, world).

you get the picture. and yet in all the things that matter, we couldn't be more similar. the most important thing of which being that we just really care about each other. knowing her has given me so much hope in the future and hope in who i am. what an irreplaceable person to know.

and then there's my darling roommate, who knew i was anxiously preparing a presentation, and offered to let me practice on her. and when i took a nap she closed the door for me cause i forgot, and came in to wake me up when it was time. in coming out of my sleep, i thought, i don't have to worry about anything right now--roommate's got my back. everyone needs a support like that in their life.

there's my new-found music-swapping kindred spirit,
my dinner group amigos,
diana who is lovely beyond words and thoughtful the same,
the courtney & meredith who i never ever ever want to leave,
(by the, i mean the, because these girls are one of a kind)
and laura who teaches me about enthusiasm and femininity and making friends.
literally every one of my roommates from the last six years, who are patient, and forgiving, and support my silly party ideas and stay up sometimes to laugh or to cry, depending, and validate everything about me in such a caring, selfless way.
and of course: the friends old like trees from my childhood or old like trees from just last year that feel like friends from childhood, who still call or message, despite the distance. those who all my most important memories are with,

to all of my friends: you are the people that there is something to. people of substance, of wholeness, of great love. people who inspire me to read more books, to keep my chin up, to giggle more often, to trust more openly, to be the kind of stalwart friend and indefatigable support that each of you have been to me.

thank you,

more pictures forthcoming.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

things i pride myself on

being up for a free cellphone upgrade since june 10, 2009.

i love you little flip phone.

Sunday, March 20, 2011


  • wouldn't all of our lives be so much easier if silverware could go in the microwave?
  • remember when the best part of making cookies was eating the brown sugar that had spilled out over the measuring cup?
  • does anyone really like being told they're wrong? i mean, come on.
  • wasn't it funny how we used to compliment each other on who had the best handwriting? anyone? anyone?
  • why do i have such a hard time throwing away shoeboxes?
  • when will jimmer-mania die?
(not that i want it to, i'm just curious.)
  • speaking of dying, is it possible to die from eating too much chocolate in one sitting?
  • so what if maybe sometimes i crush on people because they have cool names?
  • what is seatbelt fabric made of? i mean, if you think about it, it is pretty amazing stuff: strong enough to keep an object at breakneck speeds from going through the window, yet not so strong that not going through the window is as bad as going through the window. follow me?
  • and are there seatbelt fabric engineers?
  • how do some people read multiple books in one week?
(i think they are lying.)
  • how does polaroid film work?
  • what happens to all my journals post-apocalypse?
  • how do i get a job driving an ice cream truck?
  • does anyone else like the idea of opera, but not really opera actually?
  • what if i move to iceland?
  • is the voice who says, "first floor...going up" on the jfsb elevators coming from a real person?
  • can i please be that person?

Thursday, March 17, 2011

dear neglected blog,

here is a bird for you.


Friday, March 11, 2011

on campus

i love byu. i journeyed to the cougareat for lunch, and here's a little sampling of the terrain of this adventure:

a lineup to a booth selling frybread and chili,
twenty freshmen having a dance party in the middle of brigham square,
ten boys huddled around the entrance to the wilk, singing some acappella version of a hymn,
guitar boys singing songs in the terrace to get people to come to guitars unplugged,
a flash mob in the cougareat. they sang something maori. all boys.
a man sitting at a table with a sign: "looking for a wife"

and amidst all of this, i found my friend, mr. nathan, and we did the crossword.

what is it with the warm weather and people suddenly having fun with life?

love it.
looooooooooove it.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

you win some, you lose some, and some you win and then lose.

yesterday i was talking to a friend about winning and losing. he says right now, he thinks he's winning...but only slightly. i say right now, i think i'm actually winning, but i feel like i'm losing. like when you are running the mile (which i know about, thank you every thursday of seventh-grade gym class) and you're behind everyone else, and then you reach the finish line, and realize you were behind because you'd actually lapped everyone. (which i don't know about, as it never actually happened to me. but i can imagine okay.)

and then today happened and it proved that you have to be careful, because somedays you feel like you're losing, but actually you're winning, but then actually you lose. the end.

porrrr ejemplo:
  • i began the day with a little of this: (okay, it was actually a lot of this. thank you to my beautiful new friend tessa for introducing him to me):
  • i planned a stellar lesson for the kiddos, all before 11:00am!
  • i ran into my old friend macsen.
  • the cute boy who always says hi to me on the ramp up to campus said hi to me again today. he was wearing argyle and he had a handsome part and i think red shoes.
  • i walked from the jsb to the brimhall, and whilst i passed a girl on a bench, she said, "you look really pretty. just so you know." thank you, complete stranger, for being nice! because i need to look pretty today because...
  • my supervisor came to observe the class i teach. when we chatted after the class, he used the words "exemplary", "exceptional", and "zesty" to describe my teaching. i'm a little thrown by the last one, but the other two are nice. ka-ching.
  • i read the first chapter of extremely loud & incredibly close, my favorite book, on the way home from campus.
  • and then as if the day hadn't been lovely enough already, i heard panda was giving out free shrimp. so me & courtney went and it was orange-y and honey-y and shrimp-y and oh so delicious.
  • after that it was off to the flagpole to take a picture of the lowering of the flag...had to be there by 5:30. i had 20 minutes to get there. perfect timing.
and then i realized...

(cue: the shriek my mother makes when she has forgotten something important.)

i totally forgot about my prep-for-london class. it started last week, and i couldn't go because i was in california. as if it wasn't bad enough to miss the first week of a class for which you are the TA, i missed the second class too. i have never unintentionally missed class. EVER.

maybe it's pathetic that i feel so bad about missing.

but this is the girl who got her name written on the board one time in elementary school (a minor infraction, one which i was not actually responsible for), and went home and prayed for hours (crying, on my knees) that when i went back to school the next day my name would miraculously not be on the board anymore. this is the little girl who, when her parents asked what one thing she'd take if she had to leave tonight and never return, her biggest concern was how the library would get their books back. i'm all about school and classes and books and being on time to such things and shining in a studently kind of way.

(hanging head in shame)

and then, after the missed-class fiasco of '11, i said the wrong thing to the boy i only want to say the right things to.

and that's probably the greatest loss of the day.

so i'm ending it like it began, but this time with the live version:

and hoping that somehow it's that i've lapped everyone by the time i cross the finish line at midnight.

Monday, March 7, 2011

casimir pulaski day

as many of you know, today is casimir pulaski day, made famous by this man and his song:

casimir pulaski emigrated to the US to fight in the Revolution. every first Monday of March, the state of Illinois celebrates him.

so naturally we had a party. with cupcakes. and mustaches, because come on, how can you not like mustaches.