queasy

the last few days i’ve felt a little shaky inside, a little queasy.  kinda like a watered-down version of how you feel when the person you’re in love with tells you it isn’t worth it to them anymore.  which hasn’t happened to me in a while, by the way.  thank goodness. 

so i'm thinking, "why am i so queasy-uneasy?"

things that have made me feel especially queasy today:

• thinking about how i don’t exercise enough
• the elastic waist on this skirt
• waking up questioning the state of my heart
• reading 12 people’s very kind but very extensive comments on my personal essay
• a brownie from Good Earth
• the 21 tabs i currently have open in my internet browser of choice (which happens to be Google Chrome, if you’re wondering.) 

things that make me gasp with happiness:

• finding that my current favorite song that i’ve only been listening to on youtube because i’m cheap like that and very rarely buy music is already in my itunes from a free download!  ka-ching!  (in case you’re curious, youtube version here:

things that make me smile a little every time I see them:

• this browser theme, which I get to see every time I open a new tab (which may or may not be a large contributor to my current endorsement of Google Chrome)

. . . . (mental pause) . . . .

things that make me smile a little every time i see them but that might be contributing to the queasy feeling:

• i guess if i get happy every time i see the rainbow pony, then that might be lowering my resistance to opening new tabs—we’re talking Pavlov’s dog here—which increases the number of tabs.  shoot.  hoisted by my own petard.

won’t dinner group time just come already.