Internet Dating*

via

I'd like to place an advertissment:

One temporary (2-3 months) boyfriend needed to:
+ study with me in the library
+ text me funny things sometimes
+ have adventures in the evenings
+ hug me lots
+ tell me I'm a rockstar and really smart, even though Thesis is taking me so-dang-long.

That's it. Anything more is optional.

Preference will be given to men who:
+ like laughing
+ smell nice
+ are handsomely groomed
+ like driving the canyon with the windows down.

Check yes or no,
Carolyn

#yesthisisajoke
#thekindofjokewhereyou'realsohalfwayserious

* My dad brings up internet dating to me every now and then. Ha. Dad, this one's for you. ;)

on nathan

as of late, there are a lot of nathans in the lives of me and my roommates.  in fact, the number of nathans we know has doubled in the last two weeks.  this is not only overwhelming, but also really confusing.  

first, my brother's name is nathan.  one time i was talking about going home with my brother-nathan for the holidays, and all the while my roommates thought i was talking about going home with my non-brother-nathan.  they were very confused/offended that i was apparently having a clandestine romance with non-brother-nathan and not telling them about it.

second, non-brother-nathan, who--let's face it--has been one of my closest and favorite people for quite some time.

this year, there's also a boy in the ward named nate.  he is tall and eats pomegranates.

then, there's nate from seattle who meredith knows,

nate who just moved in next door who wears rastafari wigs to dance parties,

and nathan who one of my roommates is writing whilst on his mission.

last, there's nathan who is PhDing and plays the trombone.  

needless to say, any conversation featuring a "nathan" is hopelessly muddied by this labyrinthine entanglement brought about by too many nathans.  so we've opted for nicknames--nicknames created through free association.

we started with nathan from texas:

TEXAS = LONGHORNS

LONGHORNS courtney misheard as LONG HAUL

which i misunderstood as LONG HALL

or, you might say, CORRIDOR

but seeing as CORRIDOR's a silly nickname, we shortened it to COREY

which meredith mistook as QUARRY

and QUARRY = DIAMONDS,

which courtney then associated with ENGAGEMENT

and everyone knows that ENGAGEMENT = Fiancé !

(could this be a sign?!)

but alas, Fiancé rhymes with BEYONCE,

and the only plausible association that follows BEYONCE is

SINGLE LADIES.

foiled again.

at any rate, single or no, it looks like we've got a good 12 names for nathan from texas.  and if i do my math right, that means that by the time this whole nicknathanaming process is over, we should have at least 84 names to draw from--none of which are nathan.  

and this is how we simplify here in apartment five.

love poem

Divining if you do or no
is like a Puritan seeking signs of her election.
I turn to a witch.

The forest of your heart, sylvan & cedar,
exculpates this wandering.
The birds are echoes.

Then, as if in rewind, the leaves float
up on back to their branches,
reattach by nubs, grow green & young.

This heart to valley,
I am still.