the kind of woman

I'd like to be the kind of woman who takes injury, insult, and hurt, absorbs it, heals it, and turns it back out on the world as kindness and love.

I'd like to be the kind of woman who decides to move to Maine and plants a blueberry farm--a woman with a blueberry farm and a bed and breakfast, or perhaps a tiny chocolate shop in southern France. A woman who tends sheep in Ireland. By a lake. I want to be brave enough to choose that kind of purposeful, centered life for myself. The kind of woman that maybe other people call "gutsy" but that down in her heart knows is just peace-seeking.

I'd like to be the kind of woman who forgives, and who never says anything out of turn.

I'd especially like to be the kind with smile lines, the kind who says only kind things.

I'd like to be the kind of woman that secretly knows all sorts of crazy stuff, like how to speak languages and how to make sfogliatelle and how to play Auld Lang Syne on the piano at New Years.

I'd like to be the one with a husband who I hold hands with and send secret smiles to.

I'd like to be the kind of woman with light and love and the honey of human kindness in her words, instead of venom, revenge, judgment, and self-pity. I'd like to be the kind of woman who is trying to heal others, not trying to ruin.

(originally written the first of October 2012)