a portrait of the artist, at 24

--to reward myself, i go book shopping at d.i.

--i talk in accents in my head sometimes. the indian one is giving me a hard time.

--i have an internal at-peace-with-oneself meter that starts sounding alarms if i have gone too long without writing in my journal. which sometimes gets in the way of work/school/life when i have to take the day off to spend eight hours writing. but oh what lovely days those are.

--sometimes i feel like all of my soul-mates are already married.

--i can type uncannily fast with just my right hand.

--sometimes, after passing the sixth guy of the day who's wearing buddy holly glasses and a plaid shirt, i wonder if they could possibly think they are really that original. i wonder what the scene kids are wearing now that the freshman have taken over their closets.

--i get frustrated when i have really strong cravings for some food, but can't quite place what.

--the last time someone asked, i couldn't remember the last two apostles. it was shameful.

--i listen to songs until they're worn thread-bare. and i begin christmas-song-listening in august.

--i learned how to do a cartwheel (finally) this summer and was (and still am) quite proud of myself.

--sometimes i think that if i apologize enough times, it will make the dumb thing i did go away. and then sometimes i think that if i pretend it never happened, then that will make it go away. neither works. so you just have to learn how to love yourself and forget.

--some nights i dance myself to sleep.

--i know more about audrey hepburn than probably anyone else i've met.

--sometimes (like right now) i set out to spend the evening on the guitar and somehow end up writing random lists (like right now again).

the end.

here's what i'm going to learn right this very moment. if you can watch them play this song and you aren't enchanted, you have no heart.