sitting in 'grad studies' class, these are my thoughts:

this summer, at eastern market, i ate the most amazing white peach. it was brownsugar-sweet and drippy like syrup or the sun right before it goes down.

so long, sweet summer

as today is the first day of fall, whilst the mountains turn orange, so here is my last ra-ra for a summer i stumbled upon, one that now gracefully falls away. a few of my favorite parts: (humor my nostalgia)

the very long drive...

the monuments at night

the metro station at pentagon city

the miles of spiderwebs on the rails across the bridge from the jefferson...which i discovered only after running my hand across them for quite some time.

camping out for fireworks on the fourth over the national mall

old town alexandria--in the evenings for dinner, for firework shows, for just about anything, one of the best places to be.

kim and chris, my twin shakespearean field-trip friends

dinner with the lovely brea and jackie-who-i-miss-more-than-life-itself in chinatown...i mean chinablock.

any sweet potato fries i could get my hands on (not to mention the burgers at 'the burger joint')

lunch with cori and kay...noticing a pattern here? food is clearly very important to me.

arlington. how the blocks are mini and the houses are patriotic and the trees are big and the fireflies abundant. arlington, i love everything about you.

wendy's plaid glasses, impeccable taste in music and constant ability to make every situation more fun

finding my twin

ball games

and most of all, the bicycle rides with all my beautiful/charming/quirky/intelligent/provocative/elusive/indefatigable/hopeful/hilarious friends, big groups and small

it's cold where we're going--i hope that our hearts are always warm.

(thanks to dashboard for such lovely lyrics.)

a song for holly golightly

a Poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. --percy shelley

when we went to the pet store to buy a bird, we wanted two

so the first wouldn't get lonely.

"not if you want her to sing you don't."

the clerk interjected.

"only reason she sings is for a companion.

you give her one and she'll have no reason to sing."

how many people i see

are singing

only because they are alone in that cage.

a portrait of the artist, at 24

--to reward myself, i go book shopping at d.i.

--i talk in accents in my head sometimes. the indian one is giving me a hard time.

--i have an internal at-peace-with-oneself meter that starts sounding alarms if i have gone too long without writing in my journal. which sometimes gets in the way of work/school/life when i have to take the day off to spend eight hours writing. but oh what lovely days those are.

--sometimes i feel like all of my soul-mates are already married.

--i can type uncannily fast with just my right hand.

--sometimes, after passing the sixth guy of the day who's wearing buddy holly glasses and a plaid shirt, i wonder if they could possibly think they are really that original. i wonder what the scene kids are wearing now that the freshman have taken over their closets.

--i get frustrated when i have really strong cravings for some food, but can't quite place what.

--the last time someone asked, i couldn't remember the last two apostles. it was shameful.

--i listen to songs until they're worn thread-bare. and i begin christmas-song-listening in august.

--i learned how to do a cartwheel (finally) this summer and was (and still am) quite proud of myself.

--sometimes i think that if i apologize enough times, it will make the dumb thing i did go away. and then sometimes i think that if i pretend it never happened, then that will make it go away. neither works. so you just have to learn how to love yourself and forget.

--some nights i dance myself to sleep.

--i know more about audrey hepburn than probably anyone else i've met.

--sometimes (like right now) i set out to spend the evening on the guitar and somehow end up writing random lists (like right now again).

the end.

here's what i'm going to learn right this very moment. if you can watch them play this song and you aren't enchanted, you have no heart.

seven things

i just watched the movie "crash." these are things i am grateful for:

1) when i go to sleep, i never worry that something bad might happen to me during the night.

2) i have never been stranded in a big city and had to hitchhike to try to get out of the cold.

3) i always have good food to eat. not just food, but good food.

4) my parents love each other very much. and they always make time for us kids.

5) i have never had impediments to finding a job or getting an education.

6) i don't have cancer.

7) the people i love love me back.

(insert: image of a happy family and good food and all the happiness of being safe.)

i would like to bring the following to your attention:

a sampling of lines from the last five songs i have listened to:

i've got a twenty dollar bill that says no one's ever seen you without makeup. you're always made up.

back in school they never taught us what we needed to know--like how to deal with despair, and someone breaking your heart.

if you ever loved somebody put your hands up. now they're gone and you're wishing you could give them everything.

everything's gonna get lighter even if it never gets better.

i finally made it, i made a clean getaway.

driving home from the grocery store, i put in my sister's ipod. leave it to rosie to provide a little classiness to my listening for the evening. please compare the above lyrics with a smattering of the frank sinatra i drove home to:

When somebody loves you
It's no good unless he loves you all the way
Happy to be near you
When you need someone to cheer you all the way

Who knows where the road will lead us
Only a fool would say
But if you'll let me love you
It's for sure I'm gonna love you all the way.

what a charmer...

my point is this: no wonder we're all so jaded about love! all we listen to is music about the demise of love! i say, change your listening habits, change your life.

p.s. i did two brave things this weekend:

1) i knocked on a professor's door for the first time ever. i was trained that if the door is closed, it means they're unavailable, but i am a grad student (? as if that holds clout?) and it was during his office hours after all! talking to professors always freaks me out. pretty sure every time i've left a consultation, i say out loud to myself as i'm walking down the hall, "good job, lady!"

2) i asked my first citizen if he wouldn't mind me taking pictures of his children swinging in the park. i introduced myself as a photographer and explained the situation (that i'm on assignment...sa-weet!). he acquiesced to my request. (mike if you're reading this, i know what you're thinking--just because i gave candy to that one kid at the fireworks show does not make me a creeper.) this required bravery because he was a stranger...it would have been easier to not approach him, to take mediocre pictures from afar...but i'm committed this year to keeping myself nice and out of my comfort zone.