Pictures...

We spent most of the week in Switzerland on exchanges with other soeurs.

1. trying to plan for the upcoming week oolala. planning is hard.

2. in switzerland!

3. on exchanges with soeur heitbreder, who uncle john met in germany last year!

Lyon Week 2

Hebrews 10:31-39. It says, "It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God... But we are not of them that draw back into perdition, but of them that believe to the saving of the soul." It is terrifying to fall into the hands of God: we are confronted with our own inadequacy and with our own powerlessness to change a single h air on our head. Then we realize that if we let go and give in to Him and let Him do things with us , that we'll turn into huge, brilliant, magnificent creatures. The terrifying part is that we realize what that will entail--it will mean always loving, always being outside our comfort zone, always being bigger than the miserly smallness inside of us that prefers a dim and quiet corner to be left alone in. It means we have to do things we don't want to do. It means we have to stand on the cliff of all our deepest fears and confront the dragon of the devils we love inside of us. And when we come upon this moment, we have two options: to give ourselves over to this "living God" and live by faith, or to draw back, into the comfortable shadows of mediocrity. The latter is perdition, ruin, and destruction. The former is life eternal. And the difference is believing not just "in" the saving of the soul, but "to" the saving of the soul. Cast not away therefore your confidence!

Other news:

I get eaten alive by mosquitoes every night. Not kidding. At first I thought they were bedbugs. I'm pretty sure they are mosquitoes now though. Which is a relief. But still.

I ate my first kebab this week. it was delicious and i woke up feeling not too sick the next morning. this is probably because we bought the ritzier kebabs. we heard anything under 6 euros is too sketchy to eat. thank goodness the elders are experts in the kebab field and can give us advice like how much money to spend on kebabs to ensure their sanitariness.

We're off to Switzerland tonight for a week of exchanges!

LYON (if you're lonely, give me your hand and I'll hold it)

I LOVE THE CITY. I love it so much. There are people EVERYWHERE, which means we are constantly talking to people. We had a bazillion miracles too this week because we're constantly talking to people. The pace is fast and we're right in the center of everything, and I love that. There are 8 missionaries in our ward. EIGHT! I've spent the last four months out in the boonies with my one companion and not another missionary for literally hours. So I've having a mot of fun here with all the different people there are to talk to and the huge mix of cultures and experiences and so on.

This is to say nothing of the smell of the metro. The smell of the metro is one of my favorite smells in the world. It's D.C. and London and curry and sweat and people and hot brakes on hot tracks and I love it. Every time I walk into the metro I tell Soeur Bicchierri how much I love the smell. Every time she tells me I'm weird.

My job right now is called sister training leader. Here's an example of what that means: my second night, after we taught a lesson, I got to spend an hour calling around to the sisters in our area and talking to them, getting to know them, encouraging them, loving them, and so on. In other words, my job here is to hold hands that hang down and help us all be a little happier. Amawing how uplifting others uplifts you too. We go on exchanges about every other day. Sometimes the sisters come to stay with us, and sometimes we go to their villes. (We even get to go into Switzerland this transfer! This is the only time on my mission I'll get to go to Switzerland!). We spend 24 hours with each sister in our area (22 total). And our sole purpose these 24 hours is to uplift them, encourage them, help them, love them, and teach them how to teach and how to contact and whatever else they want help with. I love this job so so much. The first three days I woke up smiling I was so happy.

Now let's talk about my companion, Soeur Bicchierri. I have never had so much fun before. We laugh ALL. THE. TIME. We do really funny stuff contacting, and we always get people to laugh. She told me that when we're on exchanges with the sisters this transfer that's something we have to do--help them see how fun contacting can be, so they aren't so stressed out about it.

Also, she speaks a bazillion languages. Contacting with her is like contacting with James Bond. We contact someone who speaks German, so suddenly starts speaking fluent German with them. We contact someone who speaks Spanish. Fluent Spanish. She's also done this in English, Italian, Mongolian, Portugese, and a little Chinese. It's crazy. And she can get any person to smile in under 3 seconds. It's incredible, I've never seen anything like it. I'm learning a ton from her about loving people and making them smile and helping uplift their spirits and then immediately connecting that joy they feel to Jesus Christ. It's wonderful.

And yeah we laugh all the time. People are just so funny, they say funny things and they do funny things to try to get away from us. We were walking really fast alongside a moving sidewalk in the metro the other day and we start talking to a man who was standing on the moving sidewalk. He was just standing there, listening to his ipod or something, and as soon as we started talking to him, he started dodging in and out of people on the moving sidewalk trying to get away. People are scared. People are scared of the soul-searching questions we ask them. But we can usually get them to smile fast, and then they tell us some of the most beautiful things.

For instance: we were in the apartment ALL DAY on Saturday trying to get things in order for all the exchanges and so forth we'll be doing this transfer. Around 5 we got super stir crazy and realized we needed to get OUT of the apartment and do some good missionary work. We planned to pass by Yasmine, one of our amis. We called her to see if we could, and she said no, it wasn't a good time. So we decided instead to pass by one of the referrals we'd received. But then we couldn't find the paper we'd written the referral's address on. So then we decided to pass by the other referral instead because I had that address handy, but then we couldn't find the KEYS. So after 10 minutes of trying to find them, we realize maybe there's something else we're supposed to be doing. So we go into our room and pray, and the only thought we have is to go to the office (which is literally across the sidewalk from our apartment). We'd only be gone for a few minutes so we wouldn't need the keys. On the way out, I grab a bag of cookies we'd just made, thinking maybe there was someone Heavenly Father was going to put in our path, since none of our other ideas seemed to be right. So we leave the apartment to go to the office. As soon as we leave the apartment, I see a woman with grocery bags at the other end of the block, so we run down to help her. It was interesting because I don't even know what possessed me to do that. I could have just as easily not gone back to help her. It wasn't really a conscious decision, it just kind of happened. It was the same when I gave that pass-along card to Bruno. I don't remember deciding to do that. It just kind of happened. Anyways, we walk up to her and she says, "No no, I'm not interested." And then my companion says, "Actually, we would like to give you some cookies. We just made them. Will you accept them?" And she softened up and smiled and laughed a little, because the whole situation was so weird--these two girls, one American, one Italian offering her cookies. Weird.

So we ask her what she feels about Jesus Christ. She explains that she believes in him and is Evangelist. After that she seemed like it was finished, she really wasn't interested beyond that and maybe wanted us to leave her alone. But I felt like I should ask her if she was satisfied with her relationship with Jesus Christ. And oh wow, then the floodgates opened! She told us all about how she used to be Catholic, and how she believes there is a God, that she was with him before this life, and that He has a plan for her life, and that every day she prays that He will show her more of this plan. She used those very words. My companion and I looked at each other like, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" So then right there we taught her by the Spirit. It was such a neat experience--we really felt like every sentence we said and every question we asked was being led exactly by the Spirit. We taught her about the Restoration, and she took a Book of Mormon and 30 minutes later she asking us when we can meet with her. !!! That was the reason we couldn't find the keys and the addresses and so on! I am learning more and more everyday what it means to be led by the Spirit. It isn't this strong feeling to do certain things. It's mostly just happy little ideas that come to you, and the trick is to not squash them out by your rational, miserly mind that is lazy and looks for reasons not to do happy little things. And it is miraculous to see what happens when you trust in those happy little ideas, and then leave the rest to Heavenly Father. The other day we were waiting for the metro, and I thought, "Hey, just ask that guy if he wants to learn." So I did (after telling the little miserly voice that was telling me it wasn't worth it to hushhush), and guess what! He said no, he didn't want to learn anything about Jesus Christ! So I said, "Okay" and smiled and then me and my companion stood there waiting for the metro and happily planning a lesson. And I was watching him and he kept looking over at us, looking at our tags, and finally he said, "Okay actually, I have a question. I believe in Jesus Christ, but how can I know him more? How is that possible?" We smiled. YES. The promise Elder Richards of the 70 left with us when he came a couple of transfers ago was that we needed to teach simply, then let them process the information, and then they will ask US a question! And that's what happened. So we explained the Restoration to him, and then we felt like we should invite him to church with us, and he said yes, he would really love to, and that he's been looking for a church to go to that wasn't corrupted by the ideas of men. I love seeing that change--from them thinking we're weird strangers to them recognizing us as representatives of Jesus Christ.

And I'm learning more and more every day just how much power this "setting apart" actually holds. It's incredible.

And definitely there are still loads of people who don't want to hear about it just yet. My favorite funny contact of today for example was just a couple of hours ago, I explained to a man we're here to talk about Jesus Christ and he said, "That's great, but not with me." Ha. People are just really funny.

Also. Last night, we were on our way home from church, and I tried to ask a guy if he wanted to learn more about Jesus Christ, but he walked away before I could finish asking: "Bonjour! Do you want to learn... more..." Gone. Soeur Bicchierri thought this was hilarious. "Sister! Did you just ask him if he wanted to learn more?! Learn more about what?? That makes no sense!" So then the next two contacts we started by saying, "Bonjour! Do you want to learn more?" The first lady was like, "No thank you." (Soeur Bicchierri was like, "What? She doesn't want to learn more?! She already knows everything? Who are these people!" and then we laughed some more.) But then the next couple we asked looked blankly at us for a while then said, "...about what?" We smiled and said about Jesus Christ, because we are his representatives! They said no, ca va, they already believed in Christ. My companion showed them a Book of Mormon and explained that it testified of Jesus Christ. The woman said, "Oh yes, I've read it already." We weren't sure what exactly that meant--if she read it and didn't believe it or what. So we asked how she felt about it. She said, "I loved it. I read it a long time ago, but i really loved it. It touched me deeply." She was smiling really big and her face was glowing. So we explained that in the Book of Mormon, it talks about baptism, and we asked her if she's been baptized yet. She hasn't. So we invited her to be baptized the end of the month! She said yes! We asked when we could start teaching her, and she said tonight wouldn't work because they were on their way to be with family. She then pulled out ultrasound pictures of her baby! She's three-months pregnant! Miracle times 3!

The field is white!

Photo: the Bayonne soeurs left us a message in candy after they stayed the weekend with us (it says WE LOVE YOU. We love them too. Lots of love.). This photo is of me and the sister who replaced me in Bayonne! Kinda weird that we essentially are wearing the same thing in this picture.

Transfer to Lyon

Well here we go. Sister training leader in Lyon. Which is awesome because it's what we guessed after scripture prophecies hahaha. Before every transfer we randomly open the scriptures and whatever verse we land on we try to interpret to guess where we're going. Mine said I'd go to the center, where I would be given half the kingdom or something like that. Hahahaha. Last transfer it was Helaman 1:33 that I would take possession of the city again.

So the pace here is fast fast fast and so far I love it. I was really slowing down in Bayonne. So this is going to be hard and it's going to be wonderful. Essentially what sister training leader means (as far as I've been able to gather) is we do exchanges the whole transfer. We spend the first week together (me and Sister Bichierri, an Italian who is fluent in Spanish and French and Italian obviously and English, German, Chinese, and I think there's one other...Swedish?--she said the trick was just making a bunch of sounds but really just talking with your hands, and then it doesn't matter what you say haha)--anyways we spend the first week together contacting, trying to get as many solid investigators as we can, so that the whole rest of the transfer we'll have people to teach with the sisters who come here for exchanges. And then the rest of the time, all the 11 companionships we're over come in every few days and one sister goes with me and one goes with Sister Bichierri and we teach our amis like that and help train the sister missionaries. Again, especially funny because I speak caveman French most of the time...meaning every moment that I'm not talking about the Gospel with someone who needs the message (those are the moments when the Spirit takes over and I just have to open my mouth and elegant things come out that later I have no idea how to say in French or in English). But anyways, Lyon is a beautiful city, and I am so so happy to be here and so happy to be with Sister Bicchierri. It is her last transfer and she's the best missionary that currently exists in the mission so here we go! I think she's already told me 15 times in the last 4 hours that she loves me. Yep. She's one of those people. The ones that you instantly want to be around and learn from and rely on. Oh want a sweet transfer this will be.

As for leaving bayonne, it's interesting because i knew i was leaving. i felt the mantle of that sweet little town coming up off my shoulders. To the point that last night, soeur swenson (who is going to stay in bayonne with another second transfer bleu) was asking me questions about what she should do for certain amis and for certain members and i literally had no idea. no inklings or inspiration or anything. it's her ville now. and i feel good. i feel like i have done what i could there, and what heavenly father wanted me to do.

Our DMP in Bayonne cried when he was saying goodbye. All he could say was "c'est dommage que vous partissez" (its a shame that you are leaving) then of course i stated crying.

I had a cool contact today on the train. FIVE HOUR LONG CONTACT. it was a guy who was super open to talking and he had question after question about the gospel. I did what I've been practicing: teaching a simple doctrine, then waiting till he asks a question. I gave him the proclamation and also a book of mormon yeah! it was really really a good conversation.

For now, thank you thank you thank you for your letters! I wish I had more time to write letters back. I cherish every word and am so grateful to have friends and family like you all.

You are enough. You are enough. You are enough.

You know what I'd do if I were the devil? I'd try to get people to think they weren't as awesome as they are, and I'd try to get them to think that they have no power to change that, that they're incapable of overcoming their un-awesomeness. I was reading in Preach My Gospel, our missionary resource book, this week and I came across a line that says agency is a privilege and a power. Doctrine & Covenants 58:28 says, "for the power is in THEM." We've got the power! There are other verses in the Book of Mormon that talk about how we are free to choose captivity and death or liberty and eternal life. I never really understood that until a little while ago. It means, it's more than just "the onus is on you to follow God or not." It means that we don't have to be miserable if we don't want to be! It means we are powerful enough creatures, with these bodies and minds that we have, to actually decide and create who we want to be. And that is why I think the doctrine of Agency is so precious, because it means we are the masters of ourselves. We don't have to sign ourselves off forever to a state of mediocrity or miserableness. Agency is a principle of power.

The point is: you are awesome. And you are enough. Sometimes it's a struggle to see that or to believe that. But it's truth. And when you focus on that--on all the ways you are enough--the inadequacies sorta melt away and you feel happy and light and useful again.

We spent the week in Pau to avoid the Fetes de Bayonne. The sisters in Pau have a balcony. I slept out on it and thought of being with my family at the ranch and sleeping on the roof in Mexico with my brother.

Pictures:

All the motorcycles of people coming for the Fetes de Bayonne

On the funicular up to Pau

On the balcony. Sleepy but happy.

Fete de Bayonne and Talkin to People

People are fascinated by the weather here. All you have to say to get someone to start talking to you is, "Il fait chaud" and holy cow the floodgates open. My favorite is when people tell us the temperature, because they use Celsius and we of course have no idea what that translates to, so we fake looks of shock and disbelief--"No, c'est pas vrai! 40 degrees?!" All the while we're thinking, "Look lady, you don't have to tell me how hot it is--I've soaked through all my layers of clothes, my hair is matted and sweaty to my forehead, and I have a watch-tan line like nobody's business. Are you not seeing this?!" It's so humid that when we run in the mornings, it's misty outside and you can't see very far off. It's so humid that we sleep with all our window open and the fan going constantly so we don't suffocate in the night! We're drinking tons of water.

And also we're evacuating the city. This week is the Fete de Bayonne, which means that tomorrow, one million five hundred people will descend upon this frying hot city, drink beer, jump off bridges, dance, eat Basque food, and otherwise party for the whole week. ONE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED. That makes it the fourth biggest fete in all the world, just after the one in Munich and Pamplona. So we're heading to Pau, to eat nems and stay with the sisters there and contact like fiends.

And on the subject of contacting, the goal for the mission is that every companionship talk to ("contact") 50 people everyday. Most days we meet this goal. Somedays we far exceed it. Somedays we drastically don't. I think this last week we had one day when we talked to 2 people. Eek, not good. Those are the days when I feel really lame. But guess what: we were watching the missionary training videos this week, and in them, the standard that was presented for missions worldwide was to talk to 10 people everyday (so we felt 5 times awesomer), and then after that, Soeur Swenson asked me how many people I contacted everyday my first transfer, and so I went back to my first planner, thinking I'd be disappointed by how many days this transfer we haven't hit our goal of 50 per/day. Guess what our numbers were like that first transfer: 10, 14, 7, 22, 12... In short, HOLY COW I'M ACTUALLY BECOMING A BETTER MISSIONARY!  I wonder how often in our lives we're actually leaps and bounds ahead of where we just were, but we don't realize it, because we're constantly reaching beyond ourselves. The reach is so important--it's what pulls us upward. But oh how sweet and comforting it is to look back from time to time and see progress happening in yourself--to see that you aren't the man or woman you once were. I'm grateful for every little moment when I see these tiny changes in myself and in my nature and in my capacity to do more than I've done before.

So in the spirit of reaching, Soeur Swenson and I, since we'll be in Pau with nary a person to visit (as it's not our area), we've set the goal to contact 1500 people this week. This is impossible. But I guess that is just the ground needed for a miracle to happen!

And on the subject of miracles, I'm seeing a funny pattern in our days: we set up really awesome plans, the plans fall through, and then even better things present themselves. For instance, one night Soeur Swenson suggested that we pray to try to find someone specific, so we prayed we could find someone who felt lost and wanted to know how to figure out which Church was true. Five minutes later, we stopped a couple who was walking through a park. The guy cut us off mid sentence, and in good old Mid-west States American English said to the woman, "Oh, these are the Mormon missionaries. They are the nicest, happiest people you will ever meet. And they're everywhere! So if ever you need anything--if you're lost or hurt and need someone to take you to the hospital, just look for a couple of these missionaries, and they'll save you! Or they'll at least call an ambulance for you." What a reputation! Thank you, whatever missionaries you were who gave this man such a glowing experience with Mormon missionaries! We started talking to them about our beliefs, asked them if they'd like to learn more, and the woman says, "I am so lost. I have been looking so long for the truth, and I don't know where to find it. I've tried every Church." Coincidence that we'd felt inspired to pray for this? I think not. So we taught her about how there IS a true Church on the earth and how she can know this by beginning to pray to Heavenly Father. Right there on the bridge by the park, we taught her about prayer and about finding truth. We set up an appointment for the following evening to see her again, in the same place.

The following evening, we showed up to the same place, all set to teach her a little more about the truths God has restored again to the earth, and what do you know, they never showed up. This happens from time to time. Right as we're leaving, another couple who we taught a couple of lessons to but haven't been able to get in touch with again walked by. They live really far out of town, and were just in for the evening to go to dinner or something. Coincidence that in those thirty seconds before we were leaving the park, they'd walk by the very place we were? I think not. So we chatted with them, made them laugh a little, and set up another time to come by.

A similar thing happened two days ago: we were supposed to meet someone else in the park, and he didn't show up either, but instead, we ran into a man we'd talked to the day before, who'd had all kinds of questions about what happens after this life. He had more questions again for us (despite his insistence that he didn't want to learn any more about our Church...heh heh I can see right through that, Mister). So we told him about the resurrection, about how he would be resurrected with a perfect body someday. And then right after that, we met another man named Daniel who from his bag pulled a Bible with dogeared pages and all kinds of leaves and pictures stuck in the pages. He loves that book, he said. And so we told him about the Book of Mormon and we're going to meet up with him this afternoon to give him a copy so he can love that book like he loves the Bible.

In other words, what I'm seeing is that we make our plans, and then those plans fall through, but it's because there are different, perhaps more important plans that Heavenly Father has for us. It's not just that when He closes a door, somewhere He opens a window. It's more like when He closes a door, it's because He's going to knock down a wall and give us a garden and an orchard and a greenhouse instead. So we don't worry when our plans go through. It means there are better plans in the works.

A couple of funny stories for the week:
This week there was a family from the Netherlands visiting church. Their daughters spoke English but not French. So they asked if I'd translate for them. Ahem. Funniest thing ever. Mostly I just made up stuff that was basically on the same subject as what the speaker was talking about. This is because I don't speak French. Hahahaha

Also, last night we stopped a family on a bridge (bridge contacting is my favorite). I said, "On est missionnaire de l'Eglise de Jesus-Christ..." to which the father said, good-naturedly, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry, but we don't speak French!" To which I said, "Oh, I speak English!" To which He said, "Damn! I thought that would work!!" Haha, we all laughed about it for a while. They still rejected us. Ha.

The pictures:

The first one's of all the signs for the Fete. The top one says things like: don't jump off bridges, don't jump off buildings, don't climb the lightpoles and jump off. Such is the fete.

The second one is of me and Soeur Swenson down in the city. We got gelato right after and were even happier, if such a thing can be imagined.
                      
The third is of me in my leopard/rhinoceros grandma skirt, which I realized yesterday also has giraffes and elephants on it!!!!!!!!                                             

And the fourth one is of zone conference, of all the missionaries waiting at the busstop. We are strong. We are many. I love these moments.

Poem

each one of us is a record.

our experiences are carved inside
inscribed cave paintings on our walls.
nothing
not
a
thing
is lost.
and each carries around with him with her
these records of living,
these heartbeats of their days.

you're building an epic poem, you are.
an epic poem, you are.

-11 July 2013
Bayonne France

Little by little, I'm starting to have these small realizations--tiny tiny changes in the way I view the world, God, and myself. They aren't significant to write down, just a small change in perspective here, a little opening of horizons there. But they're starting to stack up. I hope and maybe, by the end, they will have changed my very nature and rendered me a new, more lovely, more holy creature.

***

I have some funny stories this week. Mostly people are just really funny.

1. GRANDMA SKIRT
At the market I found this truly incredible skirt with pandas and rhinos and leopards on it. It is also pleated. Yep, awesome. So I hold it up, and the little market man (I think his name is Jacques) says, "No no no, you can't buy that. That skirt is for grandmas. Not for you. You can't buy it." Hahahaha, yep I bought it.

2. MI CASA ES TU CASA
We received a referral from a lady in Paris asking us to stop by one of her friends in Bayonne. We call up the fried--her name is Ester--and ask if we can stop by. She was super friendly and had a really thick Spanish accent. So we go over and she's really welcoming, sits us right down, tells us her whole life story, gives us big glasses of mango nectar, all the while talking in this rich, thick, super fast Spanish French. Then she's like, "Come, I want to show you something!" She takes us into the back room of her apartment and there's two couch/beds back there. She strats to explain how in thsi room it's too loud with the trains right next to the window, and so she prefers to sleep in the other room, but it isn't too bad at night because no trains go by, etc. All the while we're being so kind and interested in these sorts of details about this woman's life, asking her about the room and so on. Then she points to one bed and says, "So, you can sleep on that bed, and she can sleep on that bed! (pointing to Soeur Swenson)" Me: "Ummm...oh we actually have an apartment..." ?!? So turns out this whole time she thought we were coming over because we didn't have anywhere to stay in Bayonne, and so she was offering her house to us! We all had a really good laugh about that, and then we had a really good talk about church and God, and then she sent us on our way with the blessing that God be with us. We're going to see her again tonight.

3. MAN WALKING CAT ON LEASH

Saw it.