Saturday, January 7, 2012

on nathan

as of late, there are a lot of nathans in the lives of me and my roommates.  in fact, the number of nathans we know has doubled in the last two weeks.  this is not only overwhelming, but also really confusing.  

first, my brother's name is nathan.  one time i was talking about going home with my brother-nathan for the holidays, and all the while my roommates thought i was talking about going home with my non-brother-nathan.  they were very confused/offended that i was apparently having a clandestine romance with non-brother-nathan and not telling them about it.

second, non-brother-nathan, who--let's face it--has been one of my closest and favorite people for quite some time.

this year, there's also a boy in the ward named nate.  he is tall and eats pomegranates.

then, there's nate from seattle who meredith knows,
nate who just moved in next door who wears rastafari wigs to dance parties,
and nathan who one of my roommates is writing whilst on his mission.
last, there's nathan who is PhDing and plays the trombone.  

needless to say, any conversation featuring a "nathan" is hopelessly muddied by this labyrinthine entanglement brought about by too many nathans.  so we've opted for nicknames--nicknames created through free association.

we started with nathan from texas:
LONGHORNS courtney misheard as LONG HAUL
which i misunderstood as LONG HALL
or, you might say, CORRIDOR
but seeing as CORRIDOR's a silly nickname, we shortened it to COREY
which meredith mistook as QUARRY
which courtney then associated with ENGAGEMENT
and everyone knows that ENGAGEMENT = Fiancé !

(could this be a sign?!)

but alas, Fiancé rhymes with BEYONCE,
and the only plausible association that follows BEYONCE is

foiled again.
at any rate, single or no, it looks like we've got a good 12 names for nathan from texas.  and if i do my math right, that means that by the time this whole nicknathanaming process is over, we should have at least 84 names to draw from--none of which are nathan.  

and this is how we simplify here in apartment five.

1 comment:

  1. Carolyn, I'm a fan the new design of your blog. It has a certain understated elegance that reeks of professionalism. If I were a business owner -- large, small, etsy or otherwise -- I would want to advertise here for the sheer fact that my product would not only be associated with your writing and various other endeavors, but with the blog design itself. It must've taken you hours to manipulate the html to get everything just right. bravo.