I forget from week to week what I've shared, so apologies if
this is repetitive. Sometimes I think I'll come back from my mission and
finally have the chance to read back through what I've learned, and all I'll
find is the same email written again and again and again. And that would be
okay--I think some things take lifetimes to learn. And what better proof that
something is true than to come upon it week after week, every time in a
different form, a different experience, a different story.
This week me and Soeur Vidal (my new companion!) spent some
time with the assistants to the President. They asked us to help them out with
a training about how members of the Church can work with missionaries, for the
stake priesthood training. Very humbling moment, as I'm doing these skits in
French, with a native French speaker and two missionaries who are at the end of
their missions. Suddenly my "awesome" French is baby talk again. (And
by "awesome", I mean that sometimes I think I can actually
communicate good. Then moments like our skit happen and I realize oh lala
learning a language takes a looooong time :)
On our way back from the training, I asked the assistants
what the most important lesson is they've learned on their missions. One of
them said he's learned about repentance. He said at the beginning of his
mission, his one goal was to not have any regrets. Over time, he realized that
it's impossible to not make mistakes, but he learned that he could still live
without regrets if every mistake he made he used to become a little better.
That's what repentance is. My first few transfers on my mission, I was really
overwhelmed with how much I didn't know, and how badly I was doing everything.
But as I've accumulated a few more transfers since then and can see with a bit
longer perspective, I see that in each transfer, I've learned a little better
how to be a missionary. They aren't grand changes, non of them. They're just
little tweaks, little adjustments in perspective, little polishings of this
rough and rocky soul to make it a little prettier and a little holier.
The next day I found these scriptures. They're in Doctrine
and Covenants 50: 40-42
40 Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all
things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth.
41 Fear not,
little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are
of them that my Father hath given me;
42 And none of
them that my Father hath given me shall be lost.
Guess what. It's okay that we can't bear everything right
now. It's okay that I'm imperfect. I have to grow in grace and
knowledge, the same way the Savior did. But the truly beautiful part is the
promise: that nothing shall be lost. When Jesus feeds the multitudes with a few
loaves of bread and some fishes, at the end he asks that all the fragments be
gathered up, "that nothing be lost." This is the same Christ here,
who says "Fear not, you are mine, and none of mine shall be lost." On
days when I make a ton of mistakes and all my best efforts really do seem
totally useless, I find a lot of peace in these verses. Sometimes in my life
I've applied all my efforts and force to bring about good, happy miracles in my
life, and all those best efforts don't do anything, and I wonder if all those
efforts were pointless, if I'm just wandering in circles trying to do good
things but all of them just being sent up into the ether to dissolve into thin
air. But He promises us here that that isn't how it works. He promises that if
we are anxiously engaged in good causes, trying to do lots of good things, that
even if we aren't totally sure how to apply these efforts, that the rewards
will come (Doctrine and Covenants 58:27-28). So fear not little flock!
As for miracles this week, I only had about 87 (translation
= too many beautiful moments to write about all of them), so I will pick a few
favorites.
4. One night, we tried to reschedule a rendezvous because it
was going to be impossible for us to get there what with the training thing
we'd been doing, but the person the RDV was with wouldn't let us reschedule. He
said it was super important. So we moved heaven and earth to get there, at the
last thirty minutes of the day. We taught a sweet little lesson about our
Heavenly Father, about how we can know He exists, about how we can know He
loves us. Our ami is reading and praying and coming to church now. I love
getting to meet people like him and talk to them about such meaningful things.
3. Six of the people we're teaching came to church. One had
showed up at noon and called us to see where we were (we were still at
home...church doesn't start till 2), and he had to work all afternoon, so he
couldn't stay for church. But then, the last 20 minutes of church, he walks in
and sits next to us. He had just finished work and said to himself, "well,
I know there are only 20 minutes left...I'd still like to catch those 20
minutes." Three weeks ago he didn't believe in God. But now he's praying
and feeling for himself the proof of such unproveable things.
2. One day we hadn't had a ton of time to talk to people on
the street--we'd been inside doing planning and teaching lessons most of the
day. But we had 30 minutes to walk home, and so we talked to every single
person we crossed on the sidewalk. In those thirty mintues, we found three
people who want to learn more about how they can have more peace through Jesus
Christ and we also found six girls who were in the middle of moving all their
belongings out of a moving van into their new apartment, and we got to help
them. Service opportunities like that don't come around super often. Every
corner we walked around their was someone to teach and someone to help. Great
walk home, those 30 minutes.
1. And my all-time favorite moment of the week: when I got
to co-teach a lesson with Elder Foote, my cousin. Soeur Vidal and I have been
teaching an ami who technically doesn't live in our area, so we needed to get
the right missionaries teaching him--the ones who actually serve in his area.
So one night we decided to make the transfer. Me and Soeur Vidal and Elder
Foote and Elder Escobar all went to teach him. We've had a lot of relatives
from that side of the family serve in France--my brother, my two second uncles
(or whatever they're called technically...I'm not sure), and Elder Foote. I
think we must have some roots there, or an ancestor who helped start the Church
in France. Maybe it's where Grandpa Foote would have been called had he been
able to serve a mission :) But to get to sit next to my cousin and testify
about the Spirit and Heavenly Father and how the principles of the Gospel bless
families and individuals--that was a once-in-a-lifetime special
experience.
And as for the picture this week...well, life this week has
been crazy. We've planned exchanges with the 11 companionships of sisters we
serve with, taught a whole bunch of lessons, had 3 days of training stuff, took
30 new missionaries contacting (these are the awesome things we get to do since
we live right next to the office, where the new missionaries spend their first
few days), and adjusted Soeur Vidal to a new ville. This is the only picture we
had time to take this week, and it was taken while we were speed-walking to do
our emails, not on preparation day but on Tuesday since our preparation day was
spent in leadership training and buying a new microwave because ours is leaking
nuclear fog. It should be noted that in this photo, Soeur Vidal is on the phone
with the gas company because also our hot water doesn't work. It's been 4 days
of cold showers and today we're putting our foots down.
:)
