Blackberry Picking (Welcome Home)

Blackberries.
Sneaky little devils.
They hide in the shadows in their black skins
and squeeze your mouth if they're picked before they're ready.
And the only way to know if they're ready is if they burst and bleed all over you when you pluck them.

Today I picked 19 blackberries off a branch a foot long.
19 heavy-hanging worlds
that pulled that one foot of a branch down to the earth.

Bees skipped from one to the next.
I left blackberry-blood prints on the leaves.

One Year LYON

It's four in the afternoon, and it's super dark outside and there's a huge thunderstorm. It's been like this all summer. Tender mercy from Heavenly Father to His heat-stroke-prone daughter? Yep.

Sr Floisand and I profited from our trip to supermarket Carrefour today by buying 20 euros worth of yogurt. Chestnut, plum and honey, Grandma's rice pudding, chocolate, Swiss mountain berry, coconut...yep. Stocking up.

Guess what delightful thing happened this morning? I washed my clothes and they all came out pink because I left a shirt in there that had too much dye or something and then I accidentally put the wash on hot. Ooops... But the delightful part is that I saw what happened, and I just started laughing. Not even mad-laughing, like really laughing. It was just really funny to me. I think this is a good sign. If nothing else, I no longer care if all my clothes get turned pink in the wash. That's a pretty good change I think.

Also my little camera got dropped and now it's broken. Everything's falling apart these last two weeks. Lucky I guess. I'm just hoping I can keep it all together until I get back. If I lose my journals on the train I mean airplane, then I really might cry. Maybe not though. Sister Floisand shared something really awesome with me that I've been thinking lots about and is helping me. She said that on her mission, she's just had the attitude of, "If my companion gets the bigger piece of cake, it's okay because in a year and a half I get to see my family, and that's all I really care about anyways." She said that helps her a lot to not stress when she misses busses or things are unfair or people say mean things. I think about that for life: "You know, at the end of my life, I'll get to go back and be with God, so I don't care." Ha. Funny how the little things that bother us from day to day totally fall away when we think of life in those terms.

Oh, also this week I got yelled at by a bus driver. I was just talking to this guy I was sitting next to, having a normal conversation (which was especially funny because I wasn't even really pushing the conversation, this guy had lots of questions and I was just answering :) and suddenly this big bus driver man turns around from the front of the bus and starts yelling in really fast French and I was so taken aback I couldn't understand what he was saying, and I'm just kind of looking at him like, "Huh?? Me?" And he's like "Yes, YOU!!" And the guy next to me's like, "He thinks you're trying to sell me something. It's fine, monsieur, we're just having a conversation!" So woot I can check that box off: got yelled to/threated with a hundred euro fine for contacting on a bus.

Also, today is my one-year in Lyon anniversary. We ate at a darling cafe.

Bastille Day

 Bastille Day (the 14th of July, as they call it). 

Happy independence-from-the-French-monarchy!!! Listen to some "Red and Black" and think of me.

We got special permission to go watch the fireworks! So we went with our friend from the ward Adeline (in the picture with us holding a french flag)...and with a bunch of other members and all the other missionaries. Look at that bridge full of people! Really fun.
 

Angel Jedi Leadership Council. Favorite day of the year. Best part is it happens every 6 weeks :) I like this picture the best because you can see President in the background. I love that man a lot. Ah. Such a good day.

Let's be legends.

This week all the new missionaries came into Lyon and we got to do some training with them, then go eat dinner. Over dinner, missionaries starting recounting legends of other missionaries who have gone before--of their goodness and bravery and courage. Of missionaries who could speak every language fluently, and who never stopped teaching, and would jump out of bed at 6:30 with a huge smile on their face to do their morning exercises. They told of other missionaries who had turned down international championships and transcontinental promotions and all sorts of other worldly acclaim to serve missions. We were all so breathtaken by these tales, we just sat there in silence, Sister Hutchins and I, with our mouths gaping open. And then one of the new missionaries said, "Well, let's do it! Let's be legends!" So here's to five more weeks of aiming for legendhood.

We're in the middle of Ramadan out here. We live in a quarter with lots of Algerians and Tunisians, so many many of the people we come across are fasting. Jesus fasted for a long time too. I was reading in Mark 1 and it's incredible to me how the Savior is off in the wilderness fasting, and then BAM he comes out and he's doing miracles right and left and teaching in the synagogues and declaring bold things and people are coming to him for healing...and it's like...what the...where did that power suddenly come from?? And I think a lot of it was from fasting. Jesus the carpenter became Jesus the Christ during those 40 days in the wilderness. He submitted so fully and repeatedly his body to his spirit and to the will of the Father that when he came out of the wilderness he was someone capable of doing any miracle, such was his spiritual strength of character. He had became such a personage of light and goodness that he could walk up to some random fishermen and say, "Follow me," and they would do it. What were they thinking? He must have had such strong goodness emanating from him that they would say, "I don't know who that is or why he wants us to follow him, but I trust him and want to do whatever it is he wants me to do." That is power. Go read Mark 1 and see. 

And then in Mark 9, a father brings his possessed son to Christ and so humbly says, "I brought him to your disciples but they couldn't heal him." I love in verse 21 that Christ asks how long the child has been tormented by this devil, as if to find out what kind of a devil he's dealing with. And then he heals the boy, and later the disciples ask, "Hey why couldn't we heal him?" and Christ explains that that kind of devil doesn't go out except for lots of prayers and fasting. He had more power to heal because of how he had fasted and prayed. Fasting adds light and truth and power and intelligence onto our characters. It sanctifies us. It lets angels come and minister to us. If you've read The Great Divorce, I think fasting is the fastest way to make us a little more solid, a little more capable of dwelling in a celestial realm. VOila. I love fasting.

Here's a list of blessings that Jesus (via Isaiah) promises us through fasting. Go through this slow, because every one of these promises has universes of beauty inside of it.

Is not this the fast? 

to loose the bands of wickedness,

to undo the heavy burdens, 

and to let the oppressed go free,

and that ye break every yoke?

Is it not to deal thy bread to the hungry,

and that thou bring the poor that are cast out to thy house?

Then shall thy light break forth as the morning,

and thine health shall spring forth speedily:

and thy righteousness shall go before thee; 

the glory of the Lord shall be thy rearward.

Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; 

thou shalt cry, 

and he shall say, 

Here I am. 

Then shall thy light rise in obscurity, 

and thy darkness be as the noonday:

And the Lord shall guide thee continually,  

and satisfy thy soul in drought.

And thou shalt be like a watered garden, 

and like a spring of water, 

whose waters fail not.

And they shall build the old waste places: 

Thou shalt be called the repairer of the breach, 

the restorer of paths to dwell in.

If thou turn away thy foot from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; 

not doing thine own ways, 

nor finding thine own pleasure, 

nor speaking thine own words,

then shalt thou delight thyself in the Lord; 

And I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, 

and feed thee 

with the heritage of Jacob thy father.

(Isaiah 58)

Zero to Greatness

Send me to Nigeria. Holy cow, every person we meet from Nigeria is a walking lightball. A couple of weeks ago we met a Nigerian man, in his late 20s, early 30s. He said, "I've been praying to find people who speak English who can teach me about Jesus." We had our first RDV with him this week in a park. He was there early, with his New Testament. We sat down, did the whole prayer thing, and started in on trying to figure out who he is and what his understanding of God is. He cuts off and says, "Yeah, I have a question for you. What do you believe about praising God? In Nigeria, we pray and we sing and we praise God? Do you believe that is good?" With big smiles we said YES! That's exactly what we do every Sunday! And he said, "When we learn about him, we love him and we want to praise his name and show how much we love him. So I am very glad to hear that you praise God too." Then: "And what about fasting? Do you believe in fasting?" So rather than do the whole, "This is the Book of Mormon and it came from Joseph Smith and gold plates and there's a bunch of prophets and Jerusalem Liahona Moroni Mormon Nephi Savior in Americas bumble jumble, we just cracked that beautiful book open to Alma 17 where the sons of Mosiah waxed strong in their understanding and love BECAUSE of much fasting and prayer. He loved it. He said, "Good, because Jesus said there are some things that go not out except by fasting and prayer. I am very glad to hear that."

We are astounded by his simple and profound profound love for Jesus Christ. We briefly explained the Book of Mormon and read Moroni 10: 3-5 together and he said, "I believe this book is true. I will read it, and God will open my eyes so I can understand."

We went to see him yesterday. We asked what he thought of the introduction to the Book of Mormon (his reading homework). He said, "It is perfect. It gave me insight to what I will learn inside. It is perfect."

Other things he said:

"I am so so happy to know you sisters. Because you preach about Jesus, and I love him. I am so grateful to have found you, and so grateful that you shared the Book of Mormon with me. This book can change lives, from zero to greatness. I believe it is true."

"There is nobody who comes to me that doesn't hear about Jesus. I talk to every person I meet about Jesus."

"With God we can withstand the storms of life."

"I want to build Jesus' kingdom and help people come to him. That is why I want to make a lot of money, so I can preach Jesus, and build churches and support missionaries and talk about him on the radio."

"The word of God, it is like the rain from the sky. That is what he says in the Bible, that he will send his word out like the rain and it won't come back empty. God has sent his word out, and I know it will make me flourish. That's why I need faith-- I read everything that talks about Jesus because I want to learn more about him because when we learn about him, it changes who we are all the other things in our lives are taken care of. Thank you for sharing the word of God with me."

This is what it means to be pure in heart. We love him a lot. We feel like we've been with the Savior after being with him.

Easter

All French people have slippers. They wear them on the second they come home. Also, they make their own salad dressing here. It's usually the same dressing: dijon mustard, balsamic vinegar, oil. And most salads consist of iceberg lettuce and chopped hard-boiled eggs.

For Easter we went to a member's house and had a fun meal--potatoes and chicken and zuccini and baguettes and salad (with hard-boiled eggs) and lots of drinks, and then for dessert we had a nest cake! Apparently it's what they do for Easter: a round cake with chocolate eggs in the inside like a bird's nest!

We also got to garden this week, with one of our friends. I couldn't have been happier, sitting there next to her shock of violet gladiolas, weeding weeding weeding. And all the while our friend's bouncing from person to person making delightful comments, like "Oh, you have done such a magnificent job! Come look at this work she's doing!" "Look at these marvelous flowers! They're much bigger than they were last year!" She has this way of being astounded at every moment. Like a little child. This is something I'd like to practice.

Here's a video I really like: Because of Him

Leap of Faith

We had a zone conference in Geneva Switzerland this week. We got up at 4:45 to catch our 6:30 train (oh la la) and off we went! It was a zone conference of 5 zones (that's enormous! Lots of missionaries there.) President Roney spoke and told stories about Jesus. Every zone conference he starts out by telling story after story from the scriptures/with the scriptures about Jesus and how he works with his people. And instantly the Spirit comes. This time he talked about crises of faith. He started off by talking about how Bill Nye recently gave a talk at a conference where he scientifically explained that Noah's ark is not scientifically possible, what with the weight and the dimensions and all the animals, etc. And thus the Bible isn't real. And thus God doesn't exist. President talked about how many things there are in the Gospel and in the scriptures that science says are impossible. We as missionaries encounter that everyday--people logically explain themselves out of believing in God, or they can't believe more than what they can see, and therefore, there is no God. Often their explanations seem pretty dang sound to our logical minds (that's the worst when after contacting someone, you're like, "Uh, yeah, he has a good point. I have no idea why God took the gold plates back up/why there are so little evidences in the Bible about the apostasy/well EVERY religion says they're the true religion, etc etc etc"), and sometimes we're even tempted to give in to our doubts. But then we talked about the disciples during the Savior's death--imagine that you've been following around this man who professes to be the Savior of the world. Over the last few years you've seen him work miracles--walk on water, feed the multitudes, heal people, even raise people from the dead. And then that horrible week of the crucifixion, to watch this person who you've believed in, who you've trusted, be captured, beaten, and killed, and do nothing to save himself. To the logical mind, it would be so so easy to be ashamed, to think, "If he really were the Savior, why doesn't he save himself? This must mean he isn't who he said he was, and I was DUPED." To various degrees, some of the disciples did do this--recoil into the shadows out of puzzlement and embarrassment and doubt.

But then there's Joseph of Arimathea, who's this rich man who clearly has political power, and maybe up to this point hasn't done a whole lot to show his fidelity to the Savior. But in this crisis of faith, when by all worldly evidence, the Jews had proven Jesus wasn't the Savior because they were capable of killing him (What kind of a Savior lets himself get killed anyways? (see Hebrews 2 for the answer)), Joseph steps up. He goes to Pilate and uses whatever worldly weight he has and begs--begs--for the body of Jesus and lays it in his own tomb. In a moment when it would have been so easy to pull back and refuse to take a stand, sweet Joseph of Arimethea becomes a man of great faith.

We can think about Joseph of Egypt as well, who was in prison years and years and instead of the situation getting better, it just got worse and worse. What did he do wrong anyways? Surely if Joseph's God was the real God, he wouldn't have been stuck in such a base position for so long. Logically, Joseph's God isn't a very good God. Until, of course, God saves all of Egypt and all of Israel not just despite Joseph's position in prison, but because of Joseph's position in prison. When our life is illogical and when we are faced with crises of our faith, when all the world's logic says, "There is no God. The Book of Mormon isn't real. Jesus isn't the Christ." those are the happiest moments because it's in those moments when we get to step up and say, "I believe in Christ." and profess faith in the face of impossible odds. That is the kind of faith the Savior wants from his disciples. That is the kind of faith that somehow magically changes us into celestial beings. The Savior wants us to trust him, and to say that come what may, we will follow him.

After fishing all night, the apostles throw the nets over the side onemore time, at the word of the Master, and their ships start sinking for how many fish they pull in.

"You are asking me to take a leap of faith. You can't just tell a guy a message like that between 3 and 4 in the afternoon. I hope you realize the gravity and the importance of the message you have. I hope you realize the power you hold. You are literal angels. You have the faith to move mountains--literal mountains, yes, but more importantly mountains of ignorance and unbelief." (--what an ami said to Souer Hutchins this week, after learning our message that the Church of Jesus Christ is on the earth again)